Church Bulletin Blunders
I got a bit of a laugh out of these. Hope you like them. Andrew S
1) Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."
2) Don't let worry kill you--let the church help.
3) Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
4) Weight Watchers will meet a 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
5) Jean will be leading a weight-management series Wednesday nights. She's use the program herself and has been growing like crazy!
6) The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
7) This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
8) Tuesday at 4:00 P.M. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
9) Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.
10) This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
11) A singing group called The Resurrection was scheduled to sing at a church. When a big snowstorm postponed the performance, the pastor fixed the outside sign to read, The Resurrection is postponed.
12) The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's "Hamlet": in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
13) The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
14) Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
15) Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child.
16) The associate minister unveiled the church's new giving campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge--Up Yours."
17) The cost for attending the Prayer and Fasting conference includes meals.
18) The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
19) Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
20) Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.
21) Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
1) Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."
2) Don't let worry kill you--let the church help.
3) Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
4) Weight Watchers will meet a 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
5) Jean will be leading a weight-management series Wednesday nights. She's use the program herself and has been growing like crazy!
6) The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
7) This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
8) Tuesday at 4:00 P.M. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
9) Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.
10) This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
11) A singing group called The Resurrection was scheduled to sing at a church. When a big snowstorm postponed the performance, the pastor fixed the outside sign to read, The Resurrection is postponed.
12) The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's "Hamlet": in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
13) The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
14) Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
15) Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child.
16) The associate minister unveiled the church's new giving campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge--Up Yours."
17) The cost for attending the Prayer and Fasting conference includes meals.
18) The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
19) Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
20) Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.
21) Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
posted by Holysession at 11:59 a.m.
2 Comments:
Nice Blog my goli gosh brother.
Joshua
Bahhhh Haa ha. Number 16 was my fav.
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