clarification

I would really like to clarify something(s). Some of this stuff I should have said in the other post and in my e-mail, but honestly, I didn't have it all sorted out in my head then.

My heart is breaking for our session. While Matt seems to feel uneasy about coming to this particular blogger site, I am feeling uneasy about our session.
We spent so much time in the 8 months before our placements talking about being unified and sticking together, being one. Yet, there are people within us that I know really nothing about since leaving Vancouver. I'm not satisfied with that. YHWH is not satisfied with that!
I don't normally give these kinds of words, but this week has been a real battle for me - for many reasons. I should be able to come on here (or send an e-mail to you all) and feel as though I'm going to be supported by my whole session, not just the few regulars who visit(though I love that you do!). It shouldn't be that Joel is the only one I go to with 'stuff' just because he's physically here with me.
Why should we go through things(good and bad) and not share them? We need to be vulnerable with each other - and this, and our weekly updates are the only place we can do that this summer.
Please. I'm at the point of almost begging you all(and its taking a lot for me to say that!), be open and honest with all of us as to where you are at. Don't wait until we're all together again to share yourselves. That's not good enough.

Yes, I know this sounds like a rant and you may not want to hear it. But its where I'm at right now. I'm sitting here in tears because I so desperately want to know and share what's really going on with you guys. And I haven't even shared myself yet!
Its time to get vulnerable and stop hiding behind uneasiness and excuses that there isn't enough time(we all know there is!) and we just don't have anything to share.

I love each and everyone of you.
Denise